What do you focus on when you look in the mirror?

𝗜𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻—𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗲’𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗹𝗱?

Selflove has become a marketing buzzword—appearing in advertisements, self-care products, but also coaching conversations. How has this concept evolved, and why does it matter to us, whether we’re 10, 50, or somewhere in between?

💄 Brands have embraced self-love as a powerful tool to connect with consumers. From skincare lines that promise “confidence in a bottle” to campaigns like Dove’s RealBeauty, marketing often taps into our insecurities and aspirations.

Take women in their 50s….

Many products encourage this group to “embrace their age gracefully,” offering anti-aging solutions, retreats or wellness regimens. The message? “Love yourself, but also fix yourself. 😮 While empowering, it´s also contradictory😒

For our children (as young as 10), the narrative often revolves around “embracing who you are.” Social media campaigns advocate authenticity, yet often alongside sponsored content that subtly suggests: “Be yourself—but look great while doing it.” It´s scary how many as young as 10-year-old ones wear make up and buy extensive skin care products because they want to fit in😮

🎯 In coaching, self-love takes a more introspective and transformative role. It’s about accepting all your parts and knowing who you are when the noise quiets and nobody is watching. For a woman navigating her 50s, self-love might mean setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and redefining her identity outside societal expectations.

💡The concept of self-love should, in my opinion, be about building resilience, confidence, and self-awareness, learning to navigate the challenges of social comparison, identity and finding value in our unique qualities—and that without needing external validation. Imagine a world where self-love, identity, and mental health are as central to school curricula as math or science.

💡 While marketing often focuses on external expressions of self-love, like buying a product or indulging in a momentary feel-good experience, coaching, on the other hand, digs into the internal work—the kind that isn’t Instagram/TikTok-worthy but profoundly life-changing.

What can we as coaches, parents, teachers, leaders do?

✅ we need to redefine self-love beyond creams and serums; honour and promote wisdom that comes with age and experience and teach our children to embrace self-love as a process of self-discovery. It’s okay to stumble, life throws challenges our way all the time, but ABSOLUTELY nobody is perfect!

Let´s stop wasting our time (and money) looking for perfection and teach our kids and ourselves self-compassion in a healthy non-destructive way.